We've come a long way, baby

After I graduated from college, armed with a liberal arts degree and excellent grades, I eagerly set out into the world (Hartford, CT) going door to door looking for jobs. It was in the very early 70s.
The employment offices of companies had pink application forms for women. Invariably I was told there were no positions, but they would 'keep it on file'.
At one company, I was filling out the application when a male college grad of the same age came in. The receptionist perked up, handed him the white form, and placed his application in a different file.
As I trudged, at slower and slower pace, from one company to another, I was told I would just get married and have children, and they wouldn't want to waste time training me.
I was eventually hired at that company ($75 a week!) after acing a math test at an employment agency. Then I was in for a very different education. They had separate dining rooms for men and women. All the men had offices. None of the women did.
At that first job, an insurance company, after dropping a suggestion in a box recommending more equal treatment* for the females doing the exact job male executives were doing, I was immediately fired. They saw me as a trouble maker. Meek little me.
* (maybe just a telephone for their own use instead of one the whole row of us ladies had to share)
There was an Equal Employment Opportunity Commission I could complain to, but discrimination on the basis of sex was a relatively new, ignored, concept in the early years of EEOC. I had to concentrate on supporting myself, so I moved away and went back to school, (despite the obvious danger of becoming overqualified for even more jobs).
All these decades later, I have yet to be supported by a man, ever - what all of my potential employers back then predicted would happen. (I have supported a few of them.)

My generation was a pioneering one on so many fronts: in the fights - against 'unjust' wars, and for civil rights for all. Women of my age were a bridge from the generation of women before - whose options consisted primarily of getting married or maybe becoming a nurse, stewardess or secretary. Breaking into male dominated fields was not for the fainthearted. Female characteristics that were indoctrinated; being soft spoken, not interrupting, being modest, did not get you far in the business world. Being a 'good girl' was not compatible with being successful. Consequently, many of us didn't have the most important tool of all, self confidence. I still have some trouble dealing with authority figures, and people who have become successful based on the power of their personality. I am no match for them.
I'd like to think that in some small way, dropping that note in the suggestion box created a tiny ripple (along with the other acts of protest and subversion my generation performed back then) that helped smooth the way for the current generation.
Now my daughter wouldn't think twice about whether she could compete effectively with her male counterparts. Let's hope her future employers have that same attitude.
I sometimes wonder what path my career would have taken had more opportunities been open to me back then. But maybe I would still be at that insurance company, and that would be tragic!

An equal rights amendment may even be passed in my daughter's lifetime. Even if you think it would be purely symbolic, remember, it's a symbol that would mean a lot to some of us.

Love it or Fix it?

Re: Giuliani’s recent comments on patriotism

The way conservatives view this country, versus liberals/progressives, strikes me as similar to how parents might approach the challenge of raising a child who is chronically ill - let’s say with autism. Like all analogies, this is not a perfect one, but here’s what I mean.

The conservative parents love their child fiercely, they want to protect her against all harm. They, understandably, lash out at anyone who criticizes her or seems to pose a threat. They put their faith in doctors and specialists, and follow their instructions closely. They come from backgrounds where it is unheard of to question authority.

The progressive parents want to cure their daughter, or at least, fight against the condition to improve her quality of life as much as possible. They won’t give up. In addition to the doctors’ advice, they research scientific and medical discoveries and try new, promising treatments; and gradually, subtly, their child improves.

Now, perhaps the conservative parents just didn’t notice their child had autism. They think their child is perfect the way she is, even though others see her inadequacies quite clearly. Or maybe they don’t think extra efforts will pay off, that it isn’t possible for her to get any better.

I am very happy to stand firmly in the camp of trying to make my daughter and my country the best she can be. Progressive people have succeeded, and will continue to succeed in future generations as challenges arise. We won’t accept conditions like intolerance without debate and action.

It’s not a question of who loves their child or country more, the more important question is
which parenting/governing style produces the best result?

I’m glad we have a President who has been so good at fixing things, like making sure all of our citizens have access to health care, whether they have autism or anything else.

So much of life is deciding between acceptance of the status quo and working toward a vision of a better future.
Let’s elect people who have conviction, ideas and plans for improvement. 

Wanting the country to get better doesn’t mean we don’t love it.

Why New Yorkers REALLY♥NY

I recently returned from a trip to LA and was almost overwhelmed at the relief I felt stepping off the shuttle bus onto the streets of Manhattan. NY city streets are canyons enveloped by skyscrapers, each striving to be taller than the others. They seem to form a protective womb-like barrier against the forces of nature, while still affording us a glimpse of sun and clouds and stars overhead.

From the tops of those lofty buildings we look like silly ants scurrying around in mad enterprise. But up close each of us is propelled by hopes and dreams and projects that collectively reflect the energy and ingeniousness of the human race. I've never experienced that sense in any other place or any other city. Sometimes going anywhere else just seems an exercise in reinforcing my appreciation of NY.

Some sunny, less frenetic places seem lethargic in comparison. There's an emptiness and restless boredom never felt in the city that, not only doesn't sleep, but doesn't slow down. It's always entertaining.

Oddly, I think of NY city as safe. It hasn't always been, but it is now. If I go to a rural area where it's quiet except for the birds and crickets, I always fear some wild woodsman or animal can break in and threaten me. In our city we don't need guns, we have police and each other to keep us safe. I have no doubt that if I (a little older lady) were being threatened, any number of bystanders (armed with cell phones and courage and concern) would come to my aid. I've benefited from the kindness of strangers often lately. I have no such assurance elsewhere.

When New York City suffers, which it does with disturbing frequency, we all suffer. It's what makes for a collective empathy most of us feel either consciously or subconsciously. I think the racial divide is not felt as deeply here because we all live, work and commute in such proximity. We smile at babies on the subway cars no matter what color they are. People who travel in auto cars don't get that chance.

Don't get me started on the appeal of the heart of the city — Central Park — or I'd be writing for days. Best backyard ever!

Places do matter and they have personalities. New York's is curious, adventurous, ambitious, exhilarating, challenging, intellectual, exciting. Just living here increases the pulse to match the rushing taxis, delivery trucks and bicycles. And of course all the walking keeps us healthier. You don't need that much money to enjoy it. Pubs offer happy hour specials on every block. If you go alone you can strike up a conversation with a fellow New Yorker, or even a tourist. Thrift shops! Sometimes I wonder why anyone would shop anywhere else.

There's always protesting at Union Square to demand that injustices are noticed and addressed.

NY is not perfect. We have a huge class divide. To some of us it's a tragic waste to mindlessly compete, and ignore other priorities, so your apartment will be grander than others. 

The best ambitions are directed towards creative output — bringing a vision to life that will perhaps benefit our neighbors in some way — make them see the world a little differently, or at least entertain them. That urge may be contagious. Maybe we pick it up by breathing the city air. That's really what 'make it here' means: ideas, blogs, plays, poems, hip-hop, classical, docs, dramas, laws, libraries, silicon alley… We make it all.

Other places can't help but dull in comparison.

Thanks so much for reading!

Must See Movies

It recently came to my attention that some of my younger colleagues do not know who Cary Grant is. Quelle horreur! This is practically beyond my comprehension. Have they just been playing video games their whole lives!?

So to attempt to rectify - here are 2 lists of loosely defined 'classic' films that I urge 'young' people to explore at their most earliest convenience!

Of course there will be plenty of evolved males and females who can cross over this arbitrary line. Plus I hope those with partners will enjoy these together. Per my personal prejudice, I limited the war movie/violence selection.

These films are shown on Turner Classic Movies (cable). And almost all can be found on Apple tv.

Enjoy.

My Awesome Dutch Ancestors

I have just finished an amazing book called The Island at the Center of the World by Russell Shorto.

Even if you don't have Dutch ancestors, it's worth reading to get a more accurate, complete view of the early influences of this country; plus it reads like a page turner novel.

Not only does it include several of my ancestors - discovered by the meticulous 20 year research by my incredible sister - it features some prominently. He calls the couple Catalyntje Trico and Joris Rapalje who arrived in 1624 - the "Adam and Eve of Manhattan" (New Netherlands). How cool is that? 

Several of my ancestors made up one of the first bodies of representative government in the country; 12 people who tried without success to stop Stuyvesant's predecessor, Willem Kieft, from starting a disastrous 1643 war with the previously friendly and generous Indians.  

Plus other ancestors assisted in preventing Stuyvesant from a suicidal retaliation against the English (when they - unprovoked - attacked Manhattan). Bad Puritan Pilgrims! If, instead of acquiescing to the English' generous terms, they had 'fought to the last man', I, and a whole bunch of other descendants would not be here. Thank you Nicasius, Joris, et al!

It helps to explain my interest in politics, strong support for tolerance, love of literature, easy going child rearing, even my taste for cole slaw - it's in my Dutch DNA. In addition to places: Lang Eylant, Breuckelen, Haarlem, Staten Eylan; we have the Dutch to thank for: District Attorneys, the boss, St. a Claus and St Nicholas stockings, cookies, and lots and lots of bars! New Amsterdam was rough, just as the city is today and we acknowledge - that's a large part of its charm.  

Not only is it exciting to learn about history in such a personal way, to know that you come from distinguished stock is kind of emboldening. Now we fight against the powers that be in corporations. Compared to what they did, crossing the Atlantic to an unknown land that didn't even yet have a wooden shack - let alone a Radisson - for them to sleep in? How hard can it be to put up with our modern day disappointments? 

What would my ancestors think of Manhattan today? Despite their vision that it would indeed become a multicultural booming metropolis based on the bustling trade port it was then, I'm sure they would be completely blown away by the skyscrapers poised on top of what used to be their farmland. 

I wish they could see what our lives are like - that I can order any kind of food to be delivered at my door at any hour - that I have this device called an iPhone that lets me make phone calls, access a web of knowledge and watch videos and listen to music - all at the tip of my thumb.  I can cross the Atlantic in a matter of hours instead of at least 4 months. It makes me appreciate those things even more. 

I am so proud of this city that never lost its melting pot roots that go back to the Netherlands homeland. Early Manhattan was welcoming of all the people who came here, and we still are. 

It's good that some things have not changed. 

IDEAS can be dangerous

Although it's too soon to leap to any conclusions about motives in Boston bombing, one thing we've heard via the boys' mother, was the conspiracy theory that the U.S. planned the 9.11 attacks in order to turn the world against Islam. 

Whether it's 'Obamacare will kill grandma', 'my God is the one true God', 'your sex is weaker', 'my race is superior to others', or 'those people are evil'; ideas can kill...big time. Battles for hearts and minds too quickly turn into clashes on battlefields.

When we hear ideas like this, we can't ignore them. We need to argue against them, point out how irrational the idea is (while striking a balance of sympathy for the individuals espousing them). 

The notion that a government that some people don't trust, particularly a government that can't pass common sense legislation, or can't hide some of it's most embarrassing secrets, could be capable of pulling off some of the massive conspiracies people attribute to it is ridiculous and should be exposed as such at every opportunity. 

Sensible people must put themselves on the line to try to nip things in the bud, expose those who hate and spread lies on the internet, demonstrate against those who picket funerals, and vote out those representatives who encourage ignorance and misinformation to achieve their personal ambitions.  

We can spread ideas of our own, those based on fact and logic and good will. 

In the clash of ideas those should win out, because most sensible people want a world where people get along with each other, and advance civilization, not set it back. It's a war we have to win, and we should all consider ourselves in the battle.

If you hear something, say something.

BACKLASH please

This is a list of the so called 'senators' who voted no to (even considering) expanded background checks on guns:

Alexander (R-TN)

Ayotte (R-NH)

Barrasso (R-WY)

Baucus (D-MT)

Begich (D-AK)

Blunt (R-MO)

Boozman (R-AR)

Burr (R-NC)

Chambliss (R-GA)

Coats (R-IN)

Coburn (R-OK)

Cochran (R-MS)

Corker (R-TN)

Cornyn (R-TX)

Crapo (R-ID)

Cruz (R-TX)

Enzi (R-WY)

Fischer (R-NE)

Flake (R-AZ)

Graham (R-SC)

Grassley (R-IA)

Hatch (R-UT)

Heitkamp (D-ND)

Heller (R-NV)

Hoeven (R-ND)

Inhofe (R-OK)

Isakson (R-GA)

Johanns (R-NE)

Johnson (R-WI)

Lee (R-UT)

McConnell (R-KY)

Moran (R-KS)

Murkowski (R-AK)

Paul (R-KY)

Portman (R-OH)

Pryor (D-AR)

Reid (D-NV)

Risch (R-ID)

Roberts (R-KS)

Rubio (R-FL)

Scott (R-SC)

Sessions (R-AL)

Shelby (R-AL)

Thune (R-SD)

Vitter (R-LA)

Wicker (R-MS)

These 'representatives' of the people that pay them to serve their communities, chose NRA money over their duty to keep those people safe. No matter how much they try to delude themselves and their constituents with arguments to justify their behavior, there is simply no excuse for their cowardice. They are selfish and greedy, putting their careers ahead of doing what is clearly right. 

I hope all that NRA money they will continue to get goes directly toward purchasing Ambien so they can try to sleep at night. To those NRA members who, like the 90% of us, do support these measures, please stop sending them checks and swelling their membership numbers. Enough is enough.

I urge the voters in these states to send them back to jobs that will do no harm to our nation in the future:

Alaska

Arizona

Arkansas

Florida

Georgia

Idaho

Indiana

Iowa

Kansas

Kentucky

Louisiana

Mississippi

Missouri

Montana

Nebraska

Nevada

New Hampshire

North Carolina

North Dakota

Oklahoma

South Carolina

South Dakota

Tennessee

Texas

Utah

Wisconsin

Wyoming

Thanks to all you sensible Senators who did support this bill, especially Joe Manchin and Pat Toomey for your hard work. Please don't give up on us.